19th July 2016, 10:40 PM
It was getting late enough to be worried. I once again stepped into the balcony and looked down. Except for a drenched street dog lying down miserably near the gate, there was not a soul to be seen anywhere . Rain water had puddled under the lamp post. A breeze ruffled the mango tree in the courtyard and a few twigs fell down and broke. Thunder rumbled in the distance.
Did I hear a soft knock at the door?
I turned back...
Someone had unlocked the door.
It must have been Zach. He had finally arrived home.
I ran to meet him. Tonight he looked a lot more exhausted than usual. I placed my paws on his branded black trousers and stood up to greet him.
Zaccheus Nielson, my dearest, closest, and sweetest friend. The one and only Zach.
At forty, Zaccheus was still ruggedly handsome but slowly wearing out. His tanned face was creased and his cropped greying hair had becoming chaotically unkempt.
I stared at him for a long while, slowly wagging my bushy tail, waiting for him to lovingly hug me and call my name. I stood there waiting for him to pat my back. But he pushed my paws away and silently walked into his room.
There were moments like this when I felt so helpless and abandoned... and I felt the same now as I stood alone inside this richly furnished, yet sombre-looking house at the corner of the block.
"Zach" I gasped and cried to myself in helplessness.
I saw him, night after night dissolving in his own tears...
Zach and I had always been best buddies. I’d seen him grow into an ambitious, hardworking and zealous young man. I saw the rage of red in his eyes, whenever he stayed awake working late nights and at odd hours, finding his way up the corporate ladder.
His hard work did finally pay off. I still remember that day; the glitter of gold and silver sparkling on to my face, as he beamed with pride carrying the “Best Employee” award home; how much I admired him in that velvety black tuxedo. The thought of knowing how I'd almost lost him to myself!
I stood beside him as he cried every night - right through the days, after losing Roselyn, his beloved wife. How painful and depressing had been their separation.
Roselyn, the woman of his dreams. They were like one soul living in two different bodies. Theirs was a love story that was never destined to end. Or so Zach thought. Being orphaned early in life, they both became college sweethearts - the memory of their love still lays locked behind mahogany drawers, a love story embellished and framed forever, yet sadly which didn't last. They both possessed ambitions which finally overpowered their marital life. Sometimes the house remained a silent den, and at other times it seemed a tumbled up mess of chaos as the two clashed as titans from Homer’s epics. Each was unwilling to agree and submit to the other. And this finally festooned into something unspeakable. A separation. Yes, they both had to part ways and Zach suffered from it the most. She had married again. Zach lived in her memory and it slowly ate him away.
I watched him silently in much pain just as he felt the same emitting from every nook and corner of this empty, soulless house.
I followed Zach quietly to his room, and stood there still, as if my toes were glued to the designer tiled floor.
Zaccheus Nielson, my handsome Zach, stood in his room near the drawer, his shoulders hunched in resignation, his eyes wet with tears. I can't say for sure, but he must have seen me standing near the door.
"Bob" he finally called out, after an almost inexplainable and painfully long stretch of time - an hour of 60 minutes, or 3600 seconds, to be precise. The frightening silence had weighed me down. It had scared me out of my wits. Yes, I was his pet, his Bob, a four-legged creature but with a heart and brain of my own. Yes it was a brain that couldn't rationally differientate between simple and compound interest, but could surely discern a choice between a chicken pizza and sausage. And did I mention I possess a heart? Yes I did. We pets do possess feelings and emotions too.
That night I felt fear; I was afraid and sad and felt helpless too. Being a canine, there was very little I could do if the need arose for me to act like any human being. All I could do was bark, wag and whine.
I saw his face, he looked pale, disturbed and withdrawn; his eyes appeared like dark pits, offering glimpses of his soul drowning in an abyss, endlessly seeking, searching for some purpose.
It was the look of disappointment that I fathomed in his eyes.
I sought for the old Zach in him as I looked intently, but I was heartbroken, for all I found was a man searching for something, something beyond the material...
It went beyond his top floor office, the frequent flyer miles, the applause, the crisp currency notes... He searched for something beyond....
It was something transcending the boundaries of the apparent and visible. It was something I could no longer discern or understand...
"Bob" he cried my name aloud, as he hugged me firmly, tears trickling from his eyes and rolling down his cheeks.
I quietly placed my paws on his shoulders and felt his warm breath, his heartbeats were racing . I closed my eyes and groaned, understanding the pain of his shattered soul and heart.
Then he kissed me, patted my head, and asked me to leave him alone.
I resisted his orders. I didn't leave. I have always remained his obedient and faithful Bob. But tonight, I felt a strange sense of foreboding.
A sudden premonition crippled and struck my heart. The air outside sat as silently still and oppressive as the air inside.
I barked as I persisted.
He shrugged his shoulders and simply turned back, and walked towards the drawer.
He took something out of the drawer.
I stopped barking and stood silent, aghast, as I watched him put a bullet inside his temple.
"Zach" I gasped in disbelief.
And then came the questions, all flooding my dog-sized brain: What was it that you lacked? Fame, money, power, sex-appeal? Wasn't I enough for you? Your dearest and closest buddy, Bob. How many times had you promised me that we will be together, forever. Yes forever. What was it that you truly wanted? What was it that you never got?
Zach, oh my dear loving Zach, why did you do this? You broke your promise! Why? Why did you let your legacy end so prematurely? Oh what had you done, my dear Zach!
19th July 2016 , the unforgettable night of my life. The ashes of Zach's memory still burn in my heart.
19th January 2017
I fled from my adopted home; my new friends will definitely find me, sooner yet too late.
Soon after Zach's funeral I was taken to my new home; they were Zach's distant relatives from his fathers side. They were a loving family of four members. They seemed to be kind and chirpy, yet something was always missing. They fed me, took me for long walks, they took me even to a vet, yet I longed for something and that was love.
I missed Zach, it was always different with Zach; I waited for him to return from work, we shared deep conversations, I longed to hear his voice, the humorous side of Zach was something he kept hidden behind a diplomatic smile, a mask he wore to please the world, the daunting task of gaining everyone's approval . How much he hated it as each day he grew weary pretending to be the person who was successful in everything yet he failing himself. He kept denying the choice to live the person who he had always dreamt to be. Holidays, world tours, a family, kids, grandkids - he missed all this along with his busy corporate life.
I strayed and wandered on different paths for days, hungry and tired. I lacked my old strength and zeal, I had grown weak and sick. Yet at last I finally did manage to reach that one place where I sort to be the most.
It wasn't a dream; it was indeed real. I stood in the corner of the block, silently watching my house. The house where I belonged, the place where I had dwelled with Zach.
My dearest, closest and best friend Zach. I wish you knew how much I missed you. I wish you knew how orphaned I felt in this big wide world. I wish you had put a bullet in my head and ended my misery too. Life was meaningless without you. Yes it was.
I miss you Zach.
