They never told us
how difficult a goodbye could be...
When you see your loved ones
waving behind the entry point,
trying hard not to cry.
They never taught us
how to detach ourselves
from everything we thought we knew--
everything that became a part of us--
versus everything we will need to learn
to become a better version
of someone we sometimes think we knew.
We were never told
how a flight of 9000 miles
doesn't just carry us oceans apart,
or continents apart--
but into an entirely different time zone.
When you sink into your bed,
tired from work,
but still smile each time
across the screen
seeing the faces waiting to hear your voice,
you try hard to talk about your day--
your eyes dozing,
your mind fogging.
You wish you could concisely describe it best,
how every day feels different,
and some days,
it's a struggle just to find the right words instead.
you are there,
but your heart is away. . .
Some days, it's just you,
staring the blank walls,
trying to figure things out.
And they told us--
this is all part of "adulting"
or a "diaspora"
an infliction of feeling missing.
They never told us
that the struggle
is not just to leave--
but to return back
to the place you left...
only to find that it doesn't exist anymore.
In the journey of reaching a destination,
and coming back to the place you once knew--
it's not just the place that has changed.
it's you.
It is still you.
But you are different.
~Sybil Samuel~
