Showing posts with label Disappointments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disappointments. Show all posts

Sunday, 8 January 2017

Midnight Musings

He stood silent... Staring ahead the charcoal blanket full of tiny stars twinkling brightly in the dark sky. The silver crescent moon hung over the horizon. 


He closed his eyes and gasped, then drew the pale curtains over the windows.
The room fell quiet and dark, only the dim moonlight that streamed in through the window, made it bit comforting, though, it did not fail to appeal like a haunting dark dungeoun. 

The place smelled like aged wallpaper, rust and somewhat of coffee beans.

Soon the thick dark clouds hid the crescent silver moon... The lake remained calm and still, as the glimpse of the beautiful silvery moon was overcast from view.... 

The leaves ruffled by slow breeze, the rats squeaked in their little holes, nibbling the bits of food, the owl settled on a thick branch of a tree... 


It was dark, one would be afraid of even their own shadow... The bats were the only noisiest mammals outside in such dark.... 


The silent midnight hour, when the world falls in slumber, deafened to the outside chaos and noise... 

While some struggle alone in the unpleasant dark, left bruised, abandoned and hurting...  Some hearts grieving in silence, unheard, unseen...
Weeping in their loneliness... Unnoticed...

He stooped a little, his silver teacup was lying near his favourite velvet cushioned chair, he bent low to pick it up.

Why was he still awake so late? A man in late 60s, silver grey hairs, wrinkled loose skin, searching a cup in the dark...
He lowered himself to pick the cup, the chain on his neck touched the floor, the silver cross on his chain beamed as the moonlight fell on it.
He smiled, a content smile of relief, as he picked the cup and stared the cross.

"Somethings meant to occur..." He mumbled quietly and reclined on a chair near his desk .

A burgundy color diary was kept on his desk, he lit the lamp and the fluorescent light beamed in the dingy room.
He held his smile, the gentle, warm smile of knowing. . . . knowing certain things...

He was a retired priest, silver haired man, with thoughtful grey eyes, who treasured the wisdom sought under the sun. Lived as an interested audience, watching various dramas of life unfold before him. A keen observer of life, of things... Of the peculiar, little things, that many would fail to notice. Only now, with old age holding him in its clutch, he found himself increasingly critical of the drama submitted to him.

The night was frigid and still. The houses in the neighborhood loomed huge and imposing, and most people's porch lights were already off for the night.

He closed his eyes and gasped.

And then began scribbling in his diary...

"Everything in his time"

. . . Still carrying that smile, his mind busy in musings...

"We sit with our lives in the wrinkles of our fists, unable to comprehend or understand ourselves.

Sombre, dreary mortals...

Breathing...
Time, passing away with our breaths... Moments fleeting from us with a blink...

Beyond our will or power...

Absolute certainties crumble to dust.

All the metaphors cannot truly describe Life..."

He shut his eyes and pondered deeply.

"The weights that bring us down... Hold back our empty hearts..."

He paused and stared the withered sunflower kept in a vase on his table.

"Sometimes... But not sometimes...

It is always, worth the fight.

For One Day...

All that seemed far away, visible from a distance...
Will become clear...

The blurry ... Glimpse of that something familiar...
Something we had often known... All along...
Something known to our subconscious ... To our hearts...

Something...
Our beating hearts never forgot to remind...

Something whispered as a wish though agreed with a frail heart...

(Image Credits: rashadifoundation.org)

And Then the magical thing... 

Something ..  Meant to occur ... 
As purposed... 

The gossamer thread belief one clungs to for so long... Even when the strength was gone... Amidst the rough and overwhelming trails...
Yet one hung onto it.... The shimmery gossamer thread of faith in the dark..."

He paused his gaze fell at the Sacred Heart image of Christ on his wall. 
He took a long breath, held his pen and continued.

" Resign not to fate...  It shall come to pass."

The room was silent. A long tail flickered. Two eyes glowed yellow. A cat scampered stealthily across the room.

"Kitty, my lovely fluffy cat... " He smiled broadly. 
He closed the burgandy diary and looked at the clock. 
"Time for bed..." The cat purred slowly. 

"Sleep.. (Walked lowering his head) will never be worthy of the dreams we dare to touch."
(Image Credits: flvrkids.com)
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Sunday, 26 June 2016

End this Pain...


Rohan sat beside a desk, appearing melancholic, his deep dark eyes looked dull, and anxious, his cheeks tears streaked... still fresh, hot, tears were rolling down his face, his hairs awry, his mind sinking, somersaulting in a myriad of emotions... 

He closed his eyes and gasped.

And then began scribbling in the diary pages... He stopped for a while, looked towards the window, his eyes distant, staring ahead, memories rushed to his mind...

*Flashback*
"Papa look I cleared the Entrance exam for IIT" - Rohan exclaimed with joy, clenching a printed page of result.
"Bravo! That's my Son..." Tears of joy leaked from the corners of Rohan's father's eyes... He embraced his son and placing both hands on his shoulders, spoke, swelling with a certain pride, " My son will become a successful engineer. " " Promise me, you'll fulfill your Papa's dream." 
"Yes Papa, I promise" and Rohan hugged his father affectionately...

 The diary pages began fluttering by the slow breeze... 
Rohan retraced back to the present... He wiped the tears from cheeks with his palms, and continued writing...

"Sorry Papa...  I'm really sorry"

His stomach felt sick, the ugly, haunting memories, suddenly clenched their grip, clouded above him... The vague, dreadful, blurry images played trick on his mind....

"Ahhh.... " He screamed in anguish, placing his palms over his ears, covering them from the hissing, hateful noises and whispers... 

He picked up the family photograph which was kept upon his desk, hugged it for a long while and sobbed...
His dad, squarer build, a quiet always content, yet hardworking person,smiling at him through the photograph, his mother a petite, pretty looking woman standing beside his father and Rohan, only fifteen then, lanky, wrapping his arms around father and smiling broadly... 

He stared at the photograph silently... Embraced it longer, one last time, and placed it back on the wooden desk.

The room felt unusually quiet... His room seemed so silent and empty, yet the presence inside felt strangely heavier.

Out of the window, a flock of birds, flapped their wings swiftly and flew from the roof... As if fleeing something terrifying to come...

Rohan slowly stood up... something fell from the desk, he hardly noticed he dropped the pen. He was no longer conscious of anything...

He gasped.
Hanging from the hook in the ceiling... A rope with a noose all ready. And a chair to stand upon-- a chair that could be kicked away...

Rohan moved forward... His eyes staring ahead blankly like a sleepwalker's...
He climbed upon the chair, his hands were cold and shaky... He adjusted the noose round his neck.
Tears rolled down his face, as he shut his eyes... He sighed briefly... And then kicked away the chair.


"I Quit..."  The diary pages still kept fluttering...

He sat curled up, gripping his knees to his chest tightly. Frozen and numb... Staring absently ahead... Tears rolling down his face.
His wife sat beside her Son's lifeless body, and wept continually... She cried loud and bitterly with hiccups... 

Someone placed a consoling arm around Rohan's father and picked him up. They walked outside and stood in a quiet corner. "We are sorry about what happened." He took a deep, long breath  then continued, "No names were mentioned in the note. We can press charges for harassment and continue further investigation... If you will." 
Rohan's father stood silent, his eyes still wet... He looked at the policeman, then stared the diary for a while. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. 
He simply nodded, in silence.

"Sorry Papa... I'm really sorry" He ran his fingers across the diary page, feeling the letterings...
"Rohan..." He cried, holding the diary closer to his chest... 

"I Quit..." He kept staring the two words, and tears remained streaming down, falling on the pages...

"I Quit..."


*Disclaimer:
It is a work of fiction, inspired by real life issues. The Characters, events or incidences are the imagination of the writer. Any resemblance to any character, event or incidence is purely coincidental.
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//The Goodbyes//

  They never told us how difficult a goodbye could be... When you see your loved ones  waving behind the entry point, trying hard not to cry...